I took some steps away and got my sanity back.




I'm here with some words because I've been away for a while. This is a mix of everything going on in my head right now.

This pandemic has been good news for a lot of people but it has definitely dragged me just a little bit. Some people shuffle in life and get words from the outside world but going through the internet over and over again probably made me dumb, not deaf though.
My heart has been with a lot of women. Women that are caught up in the jaws of domestic violence since the beginning of this lockdown.

Children that are losing their minds, trying so hard to deal with abuse, and still looking perfectly okay to the “outside world”.

Girls that have been sold out and given out in marriage because “offices are closed” and girls are “enough investments”.

Families that are hungry.

Girls that have been raped, abused and assaulted.

People like myself that work from home and finish up just one paragraph in 2 weeks.

The truth is, when people said “this lock down is an opportunity to do great and…” – I smiled because for a lot of people, this lockdown has been a life changing, anxiety growing and depression blooming experience for them. It does not have to be the same way for everyone.

Of course, this isn’t about me.

I was thinking out loud the other day, directing every emotion I felt into my notepad. My emotions bled real bad and my pen didn’t leave just one feeling out of it. I realized what it meant to “step away”. Well, this is to explain, I took steps away and I was able to decide for myself. I took a deep pause and I was able to realize a lot of things. Maybe not too much, but enough things to keep this write up going until it finally end with a full stop.

I am sure, for a while, women have not taken steps away. The serenity, peace of mind and the “other side of life”. Women haven’t decided to take a step away. If only they did, they would see how life could be on the other side of the road. The road of justice and personal decision. The road and life where mouths are opened for them and by themselves, words are let out in ways that nobody expected. It’s a different feel of feel.

I promise, this isn’t 1999. We need a plan. I thought about it and I really had this great idea. Let’s take steps back and take a few steps forward. It helps. It clears the mind and sets up the best plan.

I was taken aback a while ago by a number of “ideas”. Possibly to clear the notion on what stepping away feels like. People have tried so hard... 
I have seen a lot of statements reminding me that this movement is a “disrespect to god's laws”. Well, definitely not my God.

Don't only step "away" and end up "walking away". Do not let " stepping away" push you away and cause you to bend and conform to what everyone feels "comfortable" with.

Last time I checked, my God does not want this to happen(I don't know about yours). He isn’t happy this is happening. I don’t know what yours revealed to you but mine told me He loves every bit of justice. He loves it so much that I can feel Him smiling.  Now, this paragraph isn’t up for a debate. I have come to realize a lot of revelations that a lot of people have and trust me, there is no way you’d put it or “explain” it to me. I would disagree because my Bible isn’t a story book. You can not instill the misogyny and patriarchy that thousands of people did many years ago in the life of grace we are all living in. You can not have the fruit of the spirit and feel abuse, oppression and inequality is okay. (This came to my mind and I really needed to clear the air). Different notions and different ideas and all I can do is laugh. Yea, I laugh.

So, some people stepped back a while ago and I’m very sure they fell.

The approach, the arrangement.

Take a few days to plan what you want. How do I want to deal with this? How do I want to bring this forth? What are my plans? What should I do?

After all these..  All I want is, now, I am ready. I have a plan. I have a goal. I am here to do something. I stepped away and I got my sanity back.

I remembered I came here to fight for the women. It was never about my feelings. It was never about what I wanted people to call me. It was all about the fight I came to fight.

The anxiety bringing, depression calling, bants attracting fight of mine.
So, back to stepping away…
It feels good when you finally know what you want.

I hope this makes sense to you.
I want comments, please ❤

9 comments:

  1. Guyyyyyyyyyy,your write up is always amazing 👌❤

    Keep fighting for what you believe in, Thank you❤

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  2. Yeah, it's always great to take some steps back to think and reconsider things. I'm at this stage rn, things have been really intense lately for me and I need a break. It's always nice to pause and remind ourselves why we're doing what we're doing and why we even started in the first place. It was a great read

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  3. Been in my heart for so long! People keeping to rules in this era of grace and using it as an excuse for injustice. Thank you for writing my heart out💘

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  4. Your writeups are always relatable, I really really love this!🥺

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  5. It's the 8th paragraph for me!⁹life changing, anxiety growing and depression blooming experience for them.

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  6. Chai!
    I can't shout too much, you're awesome please!😍😍💕💕

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  7. Yum Yum my fighter girl❤ This is beautiful keep it up!

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