‘MORE OF ME’ - glancing into #chapter4 of THE TALKING WOMAN


Like every young person today – or let me say “most”, I use social media a lot. In fact, Twitter is the actual love of my life. I really feel I connect on twitter because I love expressing myself and twitter has the space and energy for me. Twitter is like a train of opinions. I love it. 

I can say, I’m a playful, serious, open, private, out spoken and quiet person. – I get the clash, I’m like the direct opposite of everything I am when I’m around different people. 

As a dark skinned Nigerian girl with brown eyes, I wouldn’t say I’ve heard people call me beautiful until recently because we are still battling the bigotry against dark skinned people. However, I’m not a person that expects validation from people. I KNOW I'M BEAUTIFUL (I might leave a picture for you to check me out. lol).

I said earlier, I am outspoken  to the core – that’s basically what this book is about. 

… 

I have been a feminist since forever. Many people would say I ask questions a lot – okay, why won’t I ask questions when everything around me is blurry? 

Ever since I was a kid (I’m still a kid, lol), I knew I was going to fight against a lot of things. As a person, I feel that is my purpose. 

Growing up in a typical Nigerian community, I have heard a lot of things. From school, from the environment, from television – I must add this, movies play a huge role in teaching misogyny. Most of the movies I have seen only portrayed misogyny and patriarchy. 

I was very inquisitive as a kid - trust me to ask a lot of questions, and trust my family members to give me the perfect answers, making me feel like a princess lol. BUT – A lot changed when I started getting answers from outside. I became angry. Angry to my bones. 

Growing older, I started to read a lot (Oh! I forgot to tell you – I love reading and writing!). I started my research on history and trust me – it was really worse back in the days 

I know for a fact that I do not give up. It’s not in my DNA – So, I never stopped and here we are today! 

I loved what I loved. I loved that I could be anything. I saw women that have been great and I immediately knew that all the things I heard when I was younger were myths. I was born great, that I knew for a fact. 

I finally realized what people call “passion”. I would cry watching videos of barbaric cultural practices and I would get so angry when people tried to defend them. 

At some point, a lot of people asked why I cared so much, I also asked myself why I cared so much since they felt and I knew – “I wasn’t exposed to any of that”—But I realized I was, I’m a woman after all. It has everything to do with me. I’m human. (I’ll speak, and you’ll listen). 

I decided to study law

I love the course! I loved coming to the realization that most of these things done are offences that nobody really cared about! 

“Feminism made me study LAW” 

We need to understand a lot of things. A lot of things about different words and their uses on social media. Social media is sometimes, just fancy and most people just follow a trend. Once a person says something, a thousand people follow and say the same things, it starts to trend. Whether it is the right thing or not. 

I would say for a fact that I have seen people tell me that they hate feminism. Initially, I used to take the pain to explain but at this point, I really don’t care about what anyone thinks because the internet is here for a reason. I can’t start teaching and explaining to 20 people a day because I really do not have the energy and mostly because I DO NOT HAVE TO. Lol, I mean, why do I always have to explain my decisions to everyone. We have search engines for a reason and people really need to normalize not asking questions about everything when they can just use their phones. 

So anyone with that line, -- “Yommy, this is so bad, I can’t believe you have joined them, what do you want to do with your life, I hate the fact that you let these people influence you”  -- I don’t mind the time of the year this is said to me or whether it is Christmas or not, I’d end it with “Merry Christmas to you”. (I hope you get the sarcasm here).

To me, there is no difference between the people disgusted by the name – FEMINIST, and the misogynists. Like, how can you disagree with something you don’t know about? Is it because it has something “feminine” before it? Like, you just automatically decided? – A lot of people told me to call myself an “activist” instead, so that ‘people won’t hate me' – I always say – anyone who hates me doesn’t understand feminism or should actually hate me because I’m saving the world yayyyt! 

A lot of people have tried to invalidate the feminist movement and make comments. (Comments we are definitely not concerned about, lol) but, they make the comments anyway and to be honest, it hurts us knowing that daily, we have to fight to have access to the already laid down fundamental human rights. We can’t underestimate the mental health of feminists. It is not easy! It is not easy to have to prove to the society that you deserve respect. Imagine being born into the world without asking or begging to be born, and having to fight so that you are treated with respect just because of something you can’t change. Something you have no control over.

Imagine, fighting for something you are passionate about and getting death threats because you are asking to be treated as a human being. 

The fact that people send nasty comments and threats to feminists shows that feminists are actually doing something and it is bothering a lot of people. The fact that it bothers them shows there is a problem. If you are not involved in the oppression of women, why are you bothered about the fight against oppression? Is it guilty conscience? (It definitely is). 

‘If you are not involved in the oppression of women, why are you bothered about the fight against oppression’.


Download the book - THE TALKING WOMAN BY YOMMY AYILARA FOR MORE… ❤️ 


4 comments:

  1. You’re such an exceptional writer,Yommy. I’m in awe. And PLEASE never succumb to these people. Without feminists, women would continue to be oppressed and disrespected. There are women out there who need you, some can’t fight for themselves. Their voices need to be heard and you’re THEIR VOICE. If you don’t fight for them who will? The same people who hate feminists? They don’t like you because they don’t like what you stand for. They want to shut us up but that is never going to happen.

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  2. Yommy, you never cease to amaze me. Keep it up sis😍❤
    Don't give up😇😇

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  3. Thank you so much! I won't ❤️❤️

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