I’m curious and I need answers…🦋


I’m really curious. Honestly, sometimes it gets tiring that when we talk about relationships, we don’t talk about growth or enrichment. We mostly talk about ‘suffer head’. Then I wonder, what’s the point? Isn’t it better to remain in your space than to let someone in just to complicate it?

It’s really common in this part of the world. One minute, you’re having a good time and starting a conversation about how beautiful you want your relationship to be, and the next thing, an “older person” is smiling at you and telling you “it doesn’t work that way”. 

They make a long list of something that sounds a lot like frustration to you and you’re left wondering - “So what then is the point?”

Next minute, you’re sitting and having a good time, evaluating and rearranging your life and you decide not to want to get involved in that aspect because nothing about it gives you ‘dream vibes’ - Next minute, the same ‘older person’ is taking offence - ‘why would you say that?’ - ‘So you don’t want a relationship’ - ‘So you eventually do not want children’ - ‘What’s wrong with people of this generation’ - And you’re there shocked! ‘Waitttt! I thought the last time I asked you, you made a list of things I had to ‘endure’ because another human being wasn’t built to be kept accountable by society, why then are you mad I don’t want to even get involved’… 

I saw a tweet the other day - (the image of the post) - I want you all to tell me honestly- Why do we always tally about constraint, limitations and sacrifices when we talk about relationships? Is that the concept? Is that it for the women? Are you supposed to keep on making choices that might leave you unhappy because you want to maintain something?

Is the concept supposed to be based on your unhappiness? 

I’ll be attaching peoples replies here… 

You can leave your comments here - Maybe, just maybe, I’ll do a part two. 

(And now, don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about. Most people do, I know you get the point. Yes, you might not be experiencing it, but you understand these factors I’m talking about)

There was a trending tweet a while ago and a girl explained how her ‘boyfriend’ gave her the condition to either go for her masters program abroad which was a fully funded scholarship or stay in the relationship. The comment section was filled with people telling her that her relationship was ‘important’ (I’m grateful for the few that told her that she should put her self development first and that he didn’t truly love her) - However, the truth is that a lot of people put her development second, they expected her to be constrained, to sacrifice. 

So then, is that the concept? Is the concept right? And truly, is it advantageous? Because it really does not seem like it to me… 

Doing ‘ME’ or Doing ‘THEM’?

You know life is so funny. You want to do something and then surprisingly, something else takes your time and you skip it. That has been my struggle with writing one article every week and even stepping up my writing career.

Indeed, you can never get the hang of your life if you don't find balance mentally. Mental balance is so underrated. 

As a writer, it's so hard. Writing is like pouring out your feelings into paper. It's so hard when you are numb and cannot feel. People expect you to write because that's your job, but there is no way you can because you're not feeling.

Sometimes, I write and just delete everything because ‘what is this, I'm not feeling it’. It happens. I lose balance and have to start all over again.

It's harder when you have a topic and a deadline. Omggggggg! 

Now, this makes me think about our lives as women. We have lists of expectations from society because we are some sort of way. Everyone expects the same thing from every woman. They snooze and forget that women should have choices and they also should have space and time for their mental balance. It doesn't work that way.

The pressure to do things a particular way. The pressure to follow the order. ‘Get married immediately after school and start having children’ - what if I'm not mentally ready for that. What if I want to take my time. What if I am not excited about that yet. What if I want to continue with school?’. “Never! You can do your masters in your husbands house, I did it to so you can” - Well, I can't. I won't. 

People need space! Let people explore their lives individually.Someone started that system. It's okay to start yours. It's okay to be unique. It's okay to wait. It's okay to check your mental capacity. Don't rush into stuff because society has put a margin on your age. At the end of the day, it's you against the world. 

(I do not own the picture used)

Happy New Year 🤍