I’m curious and I need answers…🦋


I’m really curious. Honestly, sometimes it gets tiring that when we talk about relationships, we don’t talk about growth or enrichment. We mostly talk about ‘suffer head’. Then I wonder, what’s the point? Isn’t it better to remain in your space than to let someone in just to complicate it?

It’s really common in this part of the world. One minute, you’re having a good time and starting a conversation about how beautiful you want your relationship to be, and the next thing, an “older person” is smiling at you and telling you “it doesn’t work that way”. 

They make a long list of something that sounds a lot like frustration to you and you’re left wondering - “So what then is the point?”

Next minute, you’re sitting and having a good time, evaluating and rearranging your life and you decide not to want to get involved in that aspect because nothing about it gives you ‘dream vibes’ - Next minute, the same ‘older person’ is taking offence - ‘why would you say that?’ - ‘So you don’t want a relationship’ - ‘So you eventually do not want children’ - ‘What’s wrong with people of this generation’ - And you’re there shocked! ‘Waitttt! I thought the last time I asked you, you made a list of things I had to ‘endure’ because another human being wasn’t built to be kept accountable by society, why then are you mad I don’t want to even get involved’… 

I saw a tweet the other day - (the image of the post) - I want you all to tell me honestly- Why do we always tally about constraint, limitations and sacrifices when we talk about relationships? Is that the concept? Is that it for the women? Are you supposed to keep on making choices that might leave you unhappy because you want to maintain something?

Is the concept supposed to be based on your unhappiness? 

I’ll be attaching peoples replies here… 

You can leave your comments here - Maybe, just maybe, I’ll do a part two. 

(And now, don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about. Most people do, I know you get the point. Yes, you might not be experiencing it, but you understand these factors I’m talking about)

There was a trending tweet a while ago and a girl explained how her ‘boyfriend’ gave her the condition to either go for her masters program abroad which was a fully funded scholarship or stay in the relationship. The comment section was filled with people telling her that her relationship was ‘important’ (I’m grateful for the few that told her that she should put her self development first and that he didn’t truly love her) - However, the truth is that a lot of people put her development second, they expected her to be constrained, to sacrifice. 

So then, is that the concept? Is the concept right? And truly, is it advantageous? Because it really does not seem like it to me… 


  1. Yes, I get your point. I think most of these older people and even the so-called younger generation see things from one man's perspective because if your truly look at it from both ends, then it shouldn't just be about sacrifice. Fine, sacrifice is important but sacrifice from both ends would give rise to growth and enrichment.

    I guess there's no way I won't talk about gender here, many times you see the females at the receiving end. You hear things like, "that's why you're a woman." Well, the last time I checked, I wasn't created to suffer and endure my relationship but to enjoy it.

    Imagine the scenario you gave, it shouldn't even be a matter of contemplation. Any man who loves you truly won't give such conditions.

    When I see people that say they don't want to get married, I don't blame them because even the society and "social media" especially cause a lot of damage.

    You've written well Yommy 👍
    Well done 👏

  2. Omo to be honest.. if I say I haven't been a recipient of this stereotypical crap, I'll be a liar. I can't count how many times Internet relatives have told me I dream too big and how much my joy is irrelevant in a relationship as opposed to the comfort and the joy of other people in the relationship. Has made me wonder severally.. if this is it, what the hell is the point?
    This was such a relatable piece. Thank you so much Yommy🥺❤